Pick of the week
Q. I do not regard myself as possessed of a weak bladder but 90 minutes into a not guilty plea, I find my concentration straying from the evidence to the nether region. What do you recommend? Jason Pischer,
A. Bang your knees together when not examining a witness or addressing the court. If the presence of a neighbouring advocate makes this impractical, you should cast aside embarrassment and simply ask for a break or wink at the bench and ask for, more ambiguously, a wee break. Alternatively, seek a five minute adjournment on the ground that you must investigate a small point that has unexpectedly cropped up.
Do not rush out of court as if you have a train to catch and ensure the state of your trousers on return does not give the game away, especially during the warmer weather when light-coloured and non-absorbent materials are fashionable.
Q. I am a lady of the Bar and eager to settle down with a soul
