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22 May 2008 / Elsa Booth
Issue: 7322 / Categories: Features , Local government , Public , Community care
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Dear Auntie

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Occasional advice for the judiciary and lawyers on matters of the mind, heart and (though auntie is a bit dodgy on it) the law

Q I have been working on an advertisement for a lonely-hearts column, as kindly recommended by you, and I am currently on my 23rd draft. Would it be regarded as forward for me to mention my curvaceous body and that I am broad minded and prepared to try anything legal? I don't want to attract the wrong sort. Miss Melanie Lovelace, Cupid Chambers, London WC2

A Let's have some subtlety, girl. Please. I suggest: “Nicely rounded but overweight legal hack requires anything in trousers and preferably out of them. Position would suit retired High Court judge not subject to pension sharing order. Fond of country walks, discussions on deterrent and extended sentences and drinking. No timewasters or cry babies. Send up-to-date unrobed photograph to my head of chambers with cheque for 15% of your gross income for the past 12 months.”

 

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