Many of us are experiencing the historic coronavirus-mandated ‘lockdown’ in close, relentless companionship—of partners, children, or housemates. This presents an opportunity for closeness borne from the intensity of the experience, but also increases the chance of conflict from which it may be difficult to retreat. Our usual coping mechanisms—time alone or outside, exercise, fresh company—have been hard to access until recently, causing disagreements to loom larger. Whether about child or homecare responsibilities, prioritising careers, ‘irritating’ behaviour, the permutations for possible quarantine conflict are as varied as we are.
Mediators are trained to address conflict, and to help people move through it to resolution. One important tool that mediators use in managing conflict is active listening, the process by which a listener periodically summarises what a speaker is saying.
Active listening, or ‘looping’, was a cornerstone of the Harvard commercial mediation course I took in 2017. I was skeptical as I reviewed the advance materials. Almost everyone has
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