Ask Auntie

What is the etiquette for a CPR telephone conference? Hardy Alexander-Bell, Wapping

I am not at all surprised that you pose this question. A wealth of information is available about draft directions and telecommunications providers (whatever they are) but there is a dearth of guidance on how to behave and what to wear. It is essential to adopt a pleasant voice. At a face to face court hearing you can easily disguise an aggressive manner with a fake smile or hide a post-luncheon belch with the back of the hand but on a telephone hearing every vocal modulation or body emission is seriously amplified and identifiable. Do not talk across another participant and reintroduce yourself with each contribution in the style of, say, “Ponsonby-Smith, claimant”. Otherwise, you may be mistaken for an opponent and find you were taken to have consented to the most hideous order known to man. You must dress the part. Go to the telephone in smart attire. BBC Television continuity announcers at Alexandra Palace wore dinner jackets or silk blouses (as the case