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16 March 2007 / John Fortgang
Issue: 7264 / Categories: Blogs , Profession
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Secret diary of a county court usher aged 59 3/4

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The usher whistles his way through a sporting tragedy, spots a rug and admits he has no soul

Monday

Am reliably informed that spring has arrived and am intrigued to see effect on Life In Court. Lady DJ has designer daffodils in her room, tastefully arranged of course and chosen to match her equally designer clothes. Male DJ, ever eager to be considered ‘cool’, has taken to wearing a suit which can only be described as yellow, a colour which I do not consider suitably judicial and am therefore doing what I can to keep punters away from him until he sees error of his ways, which sadly may not happen until October. This means that lady DJ gets more than fair share of cases but as she considers herself to be superjudge (her words) she will probably not complain, and male DJ basically lazy so he won’t either. On the other hand assume he has only one such suit and if something should happen to it…problem solved

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